Address Your Child’s Socializing Problems
Make your child want to socialize
As explained in Change Your Perspectives On Parenting, do not play music all day. Do not always keep the TV on. Do not allow your child to use a computer, tablet, or phone for several hours a day.
Free your child’s time, attention, and energy. Completely cut off your child’s video games and social media. Restrict your child’s exposure to only a few good educational apps, websites, TV shows, movies, songs, and books. Make your child extremely bored. Then your child will come to talk to you and play with siblings.
Give your child a sibling
Give your child a sibling, either by birth or by adoption. As explained in Make Your Child Talk, your child can play with a sibling for almost 12 hours every day. So even if you quit your job and give up your personal life to train your child full time, you will still be short for several hours every day.
In addition, compared to adults, your child will learn a lot more social skills from peers. First of all, it is unlikely that you will have a similar childish mindset and interests as your child. Therefore, your child can find it too serious (even boring) to play with you. Secondly, with the Autism diagnosis in mind, you can overly assist your child’s social interactions. You may not show common social cues for your child to read and understand. And your child may not need to use any social skills to get out of trouble. This does not motivate your child to learn and use social skills. However, these serious problems do not exist with peers. Children can hardly modify their behaviors to accommodate your child. Therefore, they will push and demand your child to socialize like a normal child. They will be genuine in social interactions with your child. Because of the similar childish mindset and interests, your child will find it easier and more fun to play with peers too. Your child will be motivated to learn and use social skills so that they can play together.
You may find that your child can play with siblings at home very well. This can give you the confidence that your child has the essential social abilities and skills to make friends and play with friends. All your child need is a long time to get really familiar and comfortable with other people.
Send your child to a normal daycare center
If your child really cannot have a sibling, find some alternatives to ensure that your child will play with peers for several hours every day. Can your child play with the children in the neighborhood for several hours every day? If not, you may need to send your child to a normal daycare center. After several months, you may be surprised that your child can even make friends with some normal older children.
You may worry about your child’s typical Autism symptoms, and therefore your child cannot stay in a normal daycare center. To solve this problem, please refer to 3-month Challenge: Send Your Child To A Normal Daycare Center Or Normal School.
Strengthen your child’s compassion and emotion reading
Strengthen your child’s compassion and reading of other people’s emotions.
For example, when your child makes another child cry, ask your child,
- “What is he doing?”
- “If you also get hit like that, how will you feel?”
- “Now what should you do to that child?”
Give your child plenty of time to respond. Teach your child how to respond properly.
Help your child make friends
When your child plays with siblings well at home, your child has the necessary social abilities and skills to make friends with other children. Often, all your child need is to spend a long time and get really familiar with other children. You may find that your child starts to make friends in the class at the end of a school year.
You can also help your child make friends in various ways like the following:
- Ask siblings to take your child and play with their friends in the neighborhood and at school.
- Give your child some interesting toys to attract other children to play with your child.
- Volunteer often in your child’s class. Then many classmates will want to make friends with your child.
- When your child talks about a classmate or neighborhood child often, invite the child to playdates and your child’s birthday parties.
