Take Care of Your Child
Your child is NOT a doll
Your child does not need your constant care or attention. For example, If you give your baby a bubble bath every day, your baby’s skin can become dry and flaky. Soon, your baby may suffer from serious eczema. (To solve serious eczema, bathe your baby in clean water, and only wash the diaper area with soap. You may see his/her eczema slowly disappear in a few weeks.)
Your child is a human, just like you. When your child is hungry, he/she will look for food. When your child is scared, he/she will seek your comfort.
When you give your child constant care and attention, your child will seldom get thirsty, hungry, or upset. Then your child will lose the opportunities and motivation to feel his/her needs, learn how to express his/her needs, and how to meet his/her needs. As your child grows older, he/she can have serious problems expressing his/her needs and ideas, and taking the initiative for self-care and learning.
Consequently, please stop meeting all your child’s needs automatically, without any of his/her own efforts.
Your child is NOT a robot
Your child does not operate only with constant instructions from you or other people.
Your child is a human, just like you. When your child is extremely bored, he/she will seek your attention, learn from you, play with siblings and friends, and explore his/her own ideas and interests.
Consequently, please stop occupying all your child’s time and attention with learning, activities, and entertainment. Cut off your child’s video games and social media. Restrict your child’s exposure to only a few very good educational apps, websites, books, songs, TV shows and movies. Set screen time and supervise closely to ensure that your child cannot access questionable contents. Then a lot of your child’s problematic language and behaviours will disappear. Make your child extremely bored. Then your child will be a lot more motivated to learn and interact in real life.
Talk With Your Child
Start some small talks with your child every day. For example:
- Ask your child if it took long for him/her to fall asleep last night.
- Ask your child what he/she wants to eat or drink.
- Ask your child how he/she likes his/her food.
- Ask your child what sports he/she played in PE class today.
- Ask your child what happened at school today.
- Talk about what your child is interested in recently.
- Talk about what your child often said and did recently.
Carefully and patiently listen to what your child says. Give your child plenty of time to express himself/herself.
Discipline
When your child has a behavioural problem, ask him/her to apologize specifically, and say what he/she will do under similar circumstances in the future. For example, your child grabs a toy from a sibling. Ask your child to apologize to his/her sibling by saying, “Sorry, I should not grab the toy from you. I will ask nicely for a toy next time.”
Some punishment is necessary for serious behavioural problems. However, do not use any physical punishment, such as beating and locking your child in a separate room alone. Instead, use some constructive punishment. For example, ask your child to do some extra homework or house chores as a punishment.
Screen your child’s friends
Your child’s friends can also seriously influence your child’s language and behaviours. When your child suddenly shows more problematic language and behaviours, pay attention to whom he/she talks about the most. Invite your child’s friend to a playdate. Closely watch the language and behaviours of your child’s friend. If your child’s friend has problematic language and behaviours, ask your child to stay away from his/her friend and not play together again.
A bad friend can bully your child at school and prevent your child from making good friends. Consequently, do not feel bad about getting rid of your child’s only friend at the moment.